The Anger Stage of Grief
The anger stage of grief reflects extreme emotions redirected from our vulnerable core. Our emotions are redirected and get expressed instead as anger. We may get furious at the person who gave us the hurt or even with ourselves for letting it happen, even if, nothing could have stopped it realistically.
Once we realize the reality and the pain starts surfacing after the denial and isolation, we are simply not ready. We simply get angry and our anger may be aimed at inanimate objects, complete strangers, friends or family. Emotionally, we are upset with the person whom we have lost to cause us so much grief. We resent him or her for leaving us. We also feel guilty for being angry, and this makes us even angrier. Quite often, the doctors or health professionals become a convenient target of the anger stage.
Remember that physicians and doctors have to deal with death and dying every day. But that does not make them insensitive to the grief and suffering of those around them. Be open to your doctor and ask them for details of any illness. Get clear answers to any question or doubts in your mind, which will help you deal with the anger stage of grief. Take your time and understand the options available to you. An honest and open communication will go along way to calm down any anger inside you.
Remember that the anger stage of grief is natural and a necessary stage of the healing process. Be prepared to feel your anger. The more you feel it truly, the faster will it dissolve and the better you will feel. The truth is that the anger has no limits. It can extend not only to yourself, your family, your friends, the doctors, but also to God. You get angry with God and hold him responsible for everything.
Underneath the anger is actually the pain. It is natural to feel deserted and abandoned in such situation. Use the anger stage to give you strength and find an anchor. If nothing more, it will provide a temporary structure to face the intense grief on losing someone you love. At first your grief feels may seem like being lost at sea, with no connection to anything.. The anger stage of grief helps one form a bridge over the open sea, a connection from you to the person, the target of your anger. It is something to hold onto and the connection made gives strength. The anger stage is just another suggestion of the intensity of your love for the lost one.